yet all the while, far above, your mercy hovered faithfully about me.i exhausted myself in depravity, in the pursuit of an unholy curiosity. i deserted you and sank to the bottom-most depths of scepticism and the mockery of devil-worship. my sins were a sacrifice to the devil, and for all of them you chastened me.i defied you even so far as to relish the thought of lust, and gratify it too, within the walls of your church during the celebration of your mysteries.for such a deed i deserved to pluck the fruit of death, and you punished me for it with a heavy lash. but compared with my guilt, the penalty was nothing.how infinite is your mercy, my God! you are my refuge from the terrible dangers amongst which i wandered, head on high, intent upon withdrawing still further from you. i loved my own way, not yours, but it was a truant's freedom that i loved.

from the confessions of st.augustine
III.3
tr. r.s.pine-coffin